something is missing, my muse!
i am not bing able to set my mind right, feel good, or just be ok. A large part of me wakes up thinking its going to be a good day and then after a while that feeling is lost.
all around me good things are happening to people mashallah.
*i am not being judgy or unhappy or jealous of them*
just thinking to myself that is it my short coming that i am not being able to see the good things happening to me?
it is almost like i am giving myself negative energy…worst thing one can do i know.
but i seem to have no control over it…i am losing my touch at the moment and i hate that.
Last night i was sitting on my sofa cum bed and working on my laptop [as the name suggestes , was sitting on my lap], nash had sent some pictures of her girls [everytime she says that i call her a STEPFORD wife..heheh she hates me for it…THE GIRLSS ARE PLAYING…ewwwwwww]
So anyway i called my parents to my room to show them the GIRLS *now my deal is that i normally dont open the entiore bed to sleep, with my height i can sleep on half bed and it looks nicer that way so i let it be* ami abba came, abba sat down on one end, my room was dark, ami came and leaned down on abba and we saw the pictures, they were just about 6, and then DHUMMMMMMMM, the bed went phattaakk and fell and we fell and that was the end of it…ami started throwing a fit how i dont open the lights in my room [a forever debate] now i had stuff lying in my room, that i didnt want Abba to see so teh lights were off…so i turned the bed over and the metal legs had come off completely, point of connection broken, snapped open!!aaarghhh
NOW i ahve a hump in the middle of the bed, now it cant be a sofa neiter can it be a bed…i slept on the floor
today ever since i came to work, i am edgy pist off irritated and ready to bite anyones head, my work people can vouch for that…AND ITS NOT BECAUSE OF THE BED< SOME OTHER FREAKIN REASON THAT I DONT EVEN KNOW!!!!
when you trample over your own smile to smile heartedly
when two heads need shoulders, but one needs it a bit more
when things happen and there is adrenaline rush
and in the same breath, something shakes it apart
when confusion rides over logic
and actions sit idle in a state of fog
when stepping forward becomes blind
when hope rides, and love flows
when wishes come true,
when stories changes
when characters morph
but their smell remains
i have found that cloth material for shirts and pants and shalwars make perfecttt beach wear…unsticthed!!!![you just have to know the knack for it]
just wanted to say something strange before starting to write:)
lately i have seen a lot of anxiousness in people, about doing work, preparing something, opinions, everything, its almost like a timer is set and everything has to be done during that time. i do that too, when its almost like i am running against time.
on a lighter note, after a span of 3 weeks when i was reading “bitch in the house” but it wasnt finishing because everytime the continuity and rhythm set, the story would end and i would loose both rhythm and continuity. The firat 2 parts of the book, i could relate to very much, but the 3rd part was a little difficult to relate to as it dealt with things i dont know about..yet! hence i decided to let that be and move onto another book.
so bitch in the house now lies in the stack of my most loved books and hopefully later[weeks, months or years] i will pick it up and reread the part i left behind. But i do reccomend that book to most girls!!its a must read.
i am beginning to find that my trhoughts are very scattered these days, i loose the thread easily..
and now i want to end this post