open door, through the window

i can see you at the door,

but i can’t seem to open it.

through the window, there is a glimpse of the world

i dont want to be a part of

but i still want to let you in,

you seem to be the one holding it together

for everyone.

but i still dont like what i see outside, through the window.

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little time

My friends father passed away last night and all the way from last night till the burial time this morning, all I could think of was my own father. Most of the time, I am not home and when I am I am on the phone, watching TV reading, every random thing and don’t get much time with abba or ami. But today I just kept on thinking about the end of my parent’s era [I felt horrible for thinking like this] but it is a reality. I was thinking if I would be married, would I have kids or would jus keep thinking that I don’t want them to go away.
Recently a lot of bad omen is around, I cant help but think that this is a looming terror and as time passes by we have fewer time left with our parents or grandparents [those lucky to still have them].
I just hope that everyone remains safe, everyone, their parents family grandparents…all of them.

the gingerbread life

i-heart-khi

I

I made this for my alumni show piece, these three post it notes a defining underline of my everyday life. Today i am home because this very same Karachi is under stress, and those bloody idiots doing this don’t even know what they are doing. For the lack of any other constructive thing to do, kids are burning tires on streets and then dancing and waving when they saw themselves being covered on TV [I saw this footage on a local news channel]. My favorite bachpan ka hangout, a peshawari icecream parlor nearby, the owner was shot last night, 35 year old guy died, just like that.

A lot is happening all around, worldwide and from person to person, where being tough is necessary, but being wanted and being loved is even more necessary. The “fall back” factor while you toughen it up is a must, it is like having a body with a back bone, love is that fall back factor and the back bone. as clichéd as it may be, being the solely responsible for everything that happens around us and taking responsibility to overcome it is a good “jazba” but there are something that just need a lot of hands and feeling and love to come together to fix it or atlesat hold it together.

I think I’m trying to say a lot that i have been wanting to say for a few days but was just not finding the words.

I saw a family in a potohar on my way to work Friday morning, father dressed in a suit, 2 kids playing with a ball in the back seat and mommy seating smiling with a lemon yellow duppatta perched on her head. I instantly prayed for them, they looked so happy mashallah and pure and untouched and I wish to God they remain that way.

~I am wishing for things to be normal

~I am wishing for our kids to get educated

~I am wishing that we stop blaming each other [our government politicians the mayors everyone], Indian TV channels for example, people these are minor things, it is like saying “i am not playing with you because you are not mean to my toys”

~ I wish that people would take responsibility for their behavior

~ I wish that everyone out there is ANY trouble, gains faith somehow, that it will soon be ok

~ I wish for the bright and shiny newness for everyone everywhere